If you have any chronic pain I’m sure you will understand what I’m going through. I’ve had Fibromyalgia, chronic abdominal pain and chronic back pain. I’ve been on pain maangement almost 3 years. I take hydrocodone (Loratab) and morphine. However, I’m working with my doctor and she’s been slowly reducing the morphine. Then when that’s gone she’ll reduce the hydrocodone. I cannot wait!!! I’m prepared to face the fact that pain is something I’m going to forever live with. But I can control HOW I live with it. There are many reasons why I want to stop going to pain management. Most obvious is I want off the medication. But the reasons why I want off them is the stigma of being on them.
I’ve spent 3 years getting rude comments and looks from doctors and nurses.The nurse I see now is surprisingly different. She told me I was doing so great with reducing the medications and that normally there are some setbacks. But she said with you it’s different. You’re not psychologically addicted because if you were there would be some issues by now. Although that made me feel better, I still get looks as though I’m some kind of heroin user. My doctor, Dr. Igwe, gave me muscle relaxers to help with side effects of reducing the medication. But she has this nurse who specializes in “healing touch”. Well I was forced to see this nurse and have her do that. It was the most uncomfortable experience. And there was something about this nurse that I just didn’t quite like. I was certain she didn’t like me much either. And after speaking to her on the phone the other day I was right.
I had my husband Chris, call Dr. Igwe and that nurse ended up calling me back instead of him. I’ll explain why I had him call instead of myself in a minute. So when this nurse called me I told her that I wanted a refill on my muscle relaxers because it would’ve been filled next Monday anyway when I see Dr. Igwe. She began telling me that I needed to exercise more (which Chris and I do) and that the back pain I had, which is why I called them, would improve if I didn’t focus on the pain. Basically she was telling me it was mind over matter. Then she argued with me for 15 minutes trying to prevent me from talking to the doctor and getting my muscle relaxers. Despite being on narcotics, it doesn’t help my back pain. And there’s never been an X-ray of my back. And earlier Dr. Igwe said she wanted one done. But she never set it up. So finally she got mad and hung up. Then she calls me back and said, “she filled your medication and it’s ready and I also gave Dr. Igwe a heads up about your frustrations and our conversation.” I just hung up.
That’s just a small piece of the stigma that comes from being on pain management. And I am frustrated because she doesn’t know what pain I go through on a daily basis. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be healthy one day and working 70=80 hours a week to being disabled and unable to work ever again.
I am writing this in hopes it will help someone. Patients on pain management are treated like drug addicts despite how hard you try to deal with the pain. I’ve come to the conclusion, due to the prejudice, that I just want the doctor to help me taper off the medications and then I’m finally done with pain management. I’d rather deal with the pain then deal with the judgements and ridicule. I’m far from being a drug addict and I’ve never touched drugs in my life and never would. As long as my husband and children believe in me and support me, there’s nothing I can’t get through.
I’m hoping this will help anyone who’s going through the same thing. If you are I would love to hear your stories or your experiences.
Memorable Passions 